Years ago, I made a compromise with myself. Even though my Christian friends weren't able to meaningfully defend their beliefs, I could still talk to them, be friends with them, and generally treat them like intelligent, reasonable people. This experience has shaken that compromise. I'll obviously be avoiding close friendships with attractive single Christian women, but beyond that, I have a newfound bitterness toward Christians and superstitious people in general. The bitterness isn't entirely irrational, but it's not entirely pragmatic either -- there are still Christians whose friendship I value, and they aren't responsible for her decisions, even if they share the thought patterns that informed those decisions.
I can't help but wonder what role the methylphenidate had in bringing her doubts to the forefront. It all came to a head just days after she started taking that stuff. Who knows; it doesn't change anything, I guess.
Weekends are the worst. I have way too much time to ruminate on this shit.
posted on Saturday, August 07, 2010
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