Of all the things not to be done the day before starting junior year, first and foremost in my mind is not listening to music that inevitably takes me back to a time when reality was as simple as a night sky filled with blazing stars, quiet music, and a dusty gravel road. At times like that, I can't be persuaded that anything but the moment really matters. The past is behind, and the future doesn't start until tomorrow, and it's not unreasonable to think that eternity could pass before the sun rises.
I think it's only times like that when I can completely love someone, when I'm caught up in the moment, when I can forget or outright deny the question of how I'll feel in a week. I wish I could be that carefree all the time. Maybe if I could stop worrying about changing feelings, I could stay in love forever. There's nothing I want more. But unless some wrench gets tossed in the gears of time, it seems that I can't stay that way - madly in love, utterly without doubt - for much more than a few hours.
Bad thoughts to be having before the first day of school, especially since I still haven't finished all my summer homework. This is, in all likelihood, altogether too prophetic of the coming year.
posted on Sunday, August 10, 2003
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